she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My pussy is not your playground.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
