I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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