Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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