Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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