pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize