When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
