giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
