youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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