you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
