so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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