I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
