I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So vagazzling was a success
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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