I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
