Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
