garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are we in a gay sports bar?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
