i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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