Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
