I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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