You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
