he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
