Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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