I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
