"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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