wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
jump out the window naked night went bad
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
