I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
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I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents