Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
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I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect