I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
