We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
