i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
