I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize