so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
