Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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