Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
