Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
