I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
