Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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