hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
