the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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