i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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