we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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