I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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