Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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  (313): I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines. http://tfl.nu/hfn6
  Replies (3) Good night (1214) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  didnt we say no more talking to eachother

  (906): View more from Michigan

  it will help you get over me i promise

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  im horny

  (906): View more from Michigan

  ok i will unlock the door

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  (906): didnt we say no more talking to eachother (906): it will help you get over me i promise (414): im horny (906): ok i will unlock the door http://tfl.nu/m6ae
  Replies (16) Good night (2608) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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  (205): So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God. http://tfl.nu/2tiv
  Replies (50) Good night (4358) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.

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  (717): so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity. http://tfl.nu/nf2x
  Replies (20) Good night (5413) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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  (479): Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke. http://tfl.nu/d4y7
  Replies (7) Good night (2712) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now

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  (650): I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now http://tfl.nu/rdt3
  Replies (23) Good night (4042) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

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  (917): It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all. http://tfl.nu/vnnk
  Replies (11) Good night (3081) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.

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  (503): Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack. http://tfl.nu/t9kk
  Replies (3) Good night (2846) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka

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  (775): If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka http://tfl.nu/1i63
  Replies (9) Good night (1602) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?

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  (267): There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn? http://tfl.nu/pvdb
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.

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  (910): Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here. http://tfl.nu/sd9v
  Replies (1) Good night (969) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.

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  (334): Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner. http://tfl.nu/nga8
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...

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  (517): Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night... http://tfl.nu/6g5l
  Replies (1) Good night (211) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  don't judge my taste in strippers

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  (917): don't judge my taste in strippers http://tfl.nu/lxr1
  Replies (2) Good night (302) Bad night (156)

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