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Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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