Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No subtext here. People are naked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.