so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
