"it" just moved
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.