I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious