your parents love me but you hate me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
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Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom