I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
