Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
