What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
