so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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