i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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