yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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