So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
