So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
