like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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