do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
