I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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