I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
