so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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