I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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