they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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