Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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