At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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