How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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