she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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