i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
