Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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