yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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