how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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