I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize