I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
