Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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