ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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